Alex is seen coming out into the living room saying he's jealous that his girlfriend Chloe is on a ski vacation and they are staying in a suite. Elena is sitting on the couch reviewing her vocabulary words for her SAT prep. Lydia and Penelope are seated at the dining table.
Alex complains about never going on vacation. Penelope then tells him the last time they went on vacation he was too young to form memories. Penelope then asks him where he thinks his Mickey Mouse ears came from. Alex tells her they were Ricky Rat and from The Dollar Store.
Elena then tells him to rant about his sad life somewhere else because she has a thousand words to learn for her SAT prep. The two then start arguing and Penelope yells asking if she can have five minutes of peace with them. Lydia then says Alex and Elena have been fighting a lot and tells Elena to stop it.
Penelope then admits maybe they do need a little R&R. Lydia then suggests visiting Penelope's brother Tito Riera in Seattle and it is on her bouquet list. Penelope then says Tito travels for a living and if he wants to see them he can come to visit them. Penelope then says everybody but Tito came to visit Lydia when she was clinging to life in the hospital referencing the episode "Not Yet" when Lydia was in a coma. Lydia then says Penelope is always too hard on Tito.
Penelope then says she gets that Tito is the boy and therefore he can do no wrong in Lydia's eyes and Lydia really embraces the Cuban stereotype. Penelope then says that is why Tito is the way he is. Lydia says if she means he is strong, smart, and successful she has no regrets. She and Alex then exchange a fistbump.
Penelope then asks where they would even go on vacation. Lydia says Tito has been helping open restaurants all over the world and he can help them have a wonderful vacation. Penelope then says so can she. She then announces the family should pack their bags because they are going on vacation.
The episode then cuts to the family in the car and Elena and Alex yelling at each other.
The Alvarezes are then shown stuck in a traffic jam and Lydia tells Penelope they should have taken another way to San Diego. Penelope then yells some other drivers. Alex and Elena continue fighting and Penelope tells Elena not to read in the car because it makes her sick. Elena then opens the car door and throws up.
Schneider is talking to himself in the Alvarez living room when Leslie comes in because Lydia asked him to water the plant. Schneider explains Penelope asked him to do it. They argue about it and finally, they put the plant down and Schneider holds the bottle while the doctor pushes the spray.
Leslie then sadly says he's going home alone. Schneider suggests he stay awhile and they get something to eat. They finally agree to cook dinner together.
In the hotel room in San Diego, Elena throws down her suitcase on the bed and throws up in the bathroom. The rest of the family comes in and they comment on how fancy the hotel room is. Penelope says there is a view of the pool. Alex and Elena look out the window to check out girls and Penelope says the trip is bringing them closer already.
Penelope then says they should head down to the pool and grab some snacks. Lydia then says the children already drank their sodas in the car. Penelope then uses sandbags to steal sodas from the minibar. Penelope tells Lydia it was just cheaper to say it was her and the kids and therefore they need to pretend Lydia isn't there. She also told the hotel staff Elena and Alex were twins.
They hear a knock on the door. In a panic and thinking it is hotel staff, Penelope tells Lydia to hide in the closet and Elena and Alex to act like twins. It ends up being Penelope's brother Tito. Penelope gives him a hug and asks him what he's doing here, Tito tells her Lydia invited him. The kids then run up to Tito and give him a hug. He then hands Alex and Elena money and Elena says she loves him.
Penelope then yells for Lydia to come out of the closet. Lydia does so dramatically, telling Elena that's how you come out of the closet. Lydia then goes up to Tito and hugs him.
In the kitchen of the Alvarez home, Schneider and Dr. Berkowitz are cooking together and dancing to music. The doctor almost chokes on a cherry tomato and Schneider performs the Heimlich maneuver on him. They are then seated at the dining table. Schneider then expresses his concern that the infrastructure isn't there to handle the needs of the exploding population. Doctor Berkowitz then responds that he hears what Schneider is saying. The doctor then goes on to say with the clouds moving away from the equator towards the poles he says they are talking about a real crisis. They both sigh.
There is then a cut to them dancing to music again.
In the hotel room, Lydia asks Penelope that isn't it wonderful that Tito came to visit them. She then calls him a hero. Annoyed, Penelope reminds her that she's an actual war veteran. She then once again brings up that Tito didn't visit when Lydia was in her coma. Lydia then asks isn't it nice to see his face again. Penelope then asks why he gets to horn in on the vacation she spent three nights planning. Tito then asks if they are ready to go down to the pool and after they can get dinner at a restaurant on a boat.
Penelope then tells him she already made reservations at a restaurant. Alex then says he is so over land restaurants and Lydia tells him he is so smart. She then says all restaurants should be on boats. Tito then says he doesn't want to step on anyone's toes and calls Lydia by his childhood name for her "Lupita stinky feeta" which then causes everyone else to laugh.
Penelope then retorts by calling him "Tito little pito." This causes everyone to stare at her blankly and shake their heads disapprovingly. Lydia tells her that was mean.
Schneider and Dr. Berkowitz are sitting on the balcony drinking tea and looking at the night sky. Schneider then questions if there is life on other planets. Dr. Berkowitz replies that he hopes so. He then says he always thought of himself as having "an Alien-ish physique". Schneider then says the doctor would crush it on another planet. Schneider then mentions how when he was addicted to drugs he thought he needed them to see the beauty in things and now he knows he doesn't need them. He then comments on how beautiful the sky is.
The doctor tells him he takes medical marijuana lozenges to help him sleep at night. He then asks if Schneider has a problem being around them and Schneider responds it doesn't bother him now. The doctor then says he gets night terrors with his ex-wife and daughters strangling him. Schneider then comments on how human minds are such mysteries.
Leslie then questions how long Schneider has been sober and Schneider tells him that it has been eight years. Leslie then tells Schneider he's proud of him and he can't imagine the strength that must have taken. Getting emotional, Schneider asks if the doctor knows how long he has waited for any sort of father figure to say that to him. The doctor then starts crying and asks Schneider if he really thinks of him as a father figure. Schneider then says he is a miracle baby because Penelope is his emotional older sister and the doctor is his father figure.
The doctor then apologizes for getting so emotional because his kids think of him as a failure figure. Schneider then says "not this kid" ad the two exchange a teary-eyed hug.
The Alvarez family is on the restaurant boat where Lydia starts talking about the ocean and how it reminds her of Cuba. She then talks about a dance competition she entered and Tito and Penelope finish her sentence for her by saying her sister Maruchi had entered the competition. Lydia then tells her children she is so happy she brought them into this world to laugh at her. She then says because of the sizes of their heads when they were born, she pees when she coughs.
Alex then says he's going out to take pictures for his Insta. Elena who is still working on her flashcards says it's been ten minutes and people might actually start to believe he has a life. Alex then fake coughs and tells Elena to bite him.
Penelope then tells Elena she should go with Alex and Elena then questions this asking hasn't she already thrown up enough today. Penelope then tells them Alex could fall overboard. Lydia then says it happens all the time like in the movie Overboard or in the remake of Overboard. Alex then says he's going and Elena then follows him taking her flashcards with her.
Penelope and Tito start talking about how Lydia wouldn't let them go into the freezer section of the supermarket alone because she thought they would get trapped in there. They then make fun of Lydia, mimicking her, saying "in the freezer, no one can hear you scream everybody knows this."
A man who owns the restaurant thanks Tito for helping them set up the restaurant by the fourth of July, getting them featured in a magazine, and says the wine is on the house. Penelope realizes that happened around the time Lydia was in the hospital after her stroke and Tito was just a two-hour drive away. Lydia then says Tito was working and she's sure he had his reasons. Tito then starts crying as Lydia walks away.
On the deck, Alex is video chatting with his Instagram followers while Elena is studying her flashcards. Alen refers to the boat as a female and says he is on her stern, he clarifies that means her butt. Alex then sarcastically apologizes saying he'll ask the boat what it's preferred pronouns are. Elena then tells him he is so insensitive.
Alex then says he gets it, she hates him. Shocked, Elena tells him that she doesn't hate him. Alex then says that it seems like everything he says makes her mad. Elena then says everything, everyone says makes her mad. Alex then says it makes him not want to talk to her.
Elena then says honestly she didn't think Alex listened to her. She goes on to say he's always on his phone with his friends. Alex then says Elena always says she hates his friends and that he's exactly like them. Elena then says she doesn't hate him and sometimes she wants to kill him, but in the normal way.
Alex then says he also only wants to kill Elena in the normal way as well. Alex then says he's glad she doesn't actually hate him, causing the fight between them to come to an end. Elena then tells him she doesn't want to end up like Tio and their mother and have a sibling relationship where they don't talk to each other. Alex replies that'll never be them because Elena loves talking and besides they need each other. Then together they say "to deal with mom." Alex then says they've got that twin thing which causes Elena to laugh.
Elena then talks about how when they were kids Penelope wouldn't let them go on the see-saw together because they weren't the same weight, saying Elena would launch Alex into space. Alex then says someday he wants nieces and nephews to throw cash at like Tito. Elena replies she is not having any kids. Alex then says he'll give money to her cats. She then jokingly says that is such a stereotype but yes there will be cats.
Elena then offers Alex a deal, she will take a picture for his Instagram, if he stops talking about the boat's butt. Alex then says OK and for every picture, she takes of him he will quiz her on a vocabulary word. Elena then says it's a deal. She takes his phone and takes his picture as he poses and then hands the camera back to him. He then compliments her saying she really got his jawline. Elena then opens her ring of flashcards to one that says "narcissism" and hands it to him. He reads the word and then flips to the meaning and says "Oh, come on." Elena then laughs and gives him a hug which he returns.
At their table, Penelope tells Tito he is unbelievable. Tito then tells her he didn't visit Lydia at the hospital because he knew she wouldn't want him to see her like that and Penelope knows how she is. Penelope then questions what his point is. She counters his argument by saying she also would have preferred to die on the floor rather than let EMTs see her without lipstick. Penelope then tells Tito Lydia needed him there and he didn't show up.
Penelope then says it was the same thing for when their father died. Penelope then says she was the one who arranged everything for the funeral. Tito then tells her he paid for everything. Penelope angrily then tells him she doesn't want his money. Penelope then says their father was dead, Lydia was in pieces, and Tito was nowhere to be found. Tito then tells her he was wrecked after their father died. Penelope then says they were all wrecked but they are the grown-ups now and they both have to step it up.
Tito cuts her off by saying she's always been the grownup and she's the superwoman. Tito then tells her he just could not see Lydia like that. Penelope then tells her bad stuff is going to happen and next time they might not be so lucky and lose Lydia. Penelope with tears in her eyes asks if she's going to lose Tito too. Penelope then says she knows they have their things but she misses him and then calls him a jerk.
Tito finally admits he misses her too and calls her a jerk in return. Penelope then says good stuff is going to happen too and she really wants him there for that. Tito then says she's right and he tells her he's sorry. He holds her hand and tells her he loves her and she tells him she loves him too as she wipes her face from crying. Tito then tells her he loves her even if she is Lydia's favorite. She questions this and tells him to shut up at the same time he tells her it's true.
He goes on to say he knows he gets all the press but if this boat goes down Penelope knows who Lydia is saving, Alex. Penelope nods in agreement and Tito says but then she would save Penelope. Penelope laughs at this. Penelope then says Lydia is the one who did this to them. Tito scoffs. Penelope then says she thinks Lydia thinks she is perfect and Tito thinks she thinks Penelope is perfect. Penelope then says she thinks the reality is that Lydia thinks she's perfect.
Tito then says she kind of is and Penelope agrees to add that she's crazy and Tito chimes in that Lydia is totally off the rails. Tito then asks if Lydia still talks to their father. Penelope then tells him they've never been stronger and they still go on dates. Tito then asks who pays and Penelope says "That's your question?"
Tito and Penelope then join Lydia, Elena, and Alex out on the deck. Elena then takes off her glasses and says Alex taught her how to smile with her eyes and makes a face. She then tells Penelope she's working on it. Penelope then says she's just happy to see Elena and Alex getting along. Alex then says their consanguinity has never been more indubitable, using Elena's vocabulary words. The two then happily walk off together.
Tito then goes up to Lydia and apologizes for not seeing her when she was sick. Lydia starts to tell him it's OK and he tells her no it isn't. Tito then tells her it was selfish and it will never happen again. He then tells her he wouldn't know what to do if he lost her. She puts her hands on his face and comforts him in Spanish. Tito then promises to be around more and Penelope has been getting on his case about it. He then says she's right and they are both pretty lucky to have her. Lydia then says to Penelope she sees Tito as being more perfect than she previously thought.
Elena ends up vomiting over the side of the railing. Penelope comes up to Elena and says "me too baby."
Click here for Hermanos/Transcript
- Justina Machado as Penelope Alvarez
- Todd Grinnell as Schneider
- Isabella Gomez as Elena Alvarez
- Marcel Ruiz as Alex Alvarez
- Stephen Tobolowsky as Doctor Berkowitz
- Rita Moreno as Lydia Riera
- This marks the first appearance of Tito.
- This episode mentions Lydia's coma from the episode "Not Yet."
- This episode references Schneider's former drug addiction.
- This episode references the death of Berto Riera.
- Lydia mentions that the sizes of Tito and Penelope's heads when they were born is are why she pees when she coughs.
- Elena vomiting sounds similar to a foghorn.