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"One Valentine's Day at a Time" is the sixth episode of Season 3. It aired on Netflix on February 8, 2019, along with the rest of Season 3.


Synopsis

Rain ruins Valentine's Day plans, causing more than one couple to have their first fight. Schneider tries to hide his wealthy background from Avery.

Recap

Penelope and Mateo return home from an all-you-can-eat buffet. They then discuss their Valentine's Day plans. Penelope insists that she doesn't really want to do anything special for Valentine's Day, as they have both been married before and she wants to skip it.

Mateo says he's been married before and this smells like a trap. Penelope reassures him it's not a trap, her family is going out, and she's taking the day for herself. She suggests Mateo do whatever it is that he usually likes to do. Penelope says she is not sure what that is, as they don't know each other that well.

Mateo tells her he was going to use the occasion to make his big move since they haven't kissed yet. Penelope then tells him not to talk about it and asks what he's doing. Mateo tells her he just wants to make sure they are out of the friend zone and Penelope reassures him that they are.

Mateo leaves and after he is gone Alex and Lydia come out from Lydia's room. Lydia then says that was the saddest thing they have ever heard.

Later, the Alverezes are getting ready to leave for their respective Valentine's Day plans. Penelope comes out from the kitchen with a glass of wine and says she wants everyone gone. Lydia says she and Leslie will have fun at the lawn bowling tournament. Penelope replies that it sounds like one hell of a date and they must be anxious to get it started.

Elena and Syd dressed up for the Valentine's Day Fun Run

Lydia then says Leslie is not her date, he's her chaperone. Leslie then questions who her date is and Alex comes out, revealing he is going with them and shows excitement. Penelope then asks if Alex is really this excited about lawn bowling. Alex says he has been grounded for three weeks with no phone or TV. Penelope then reminds him she's only letting him go bowling because it seems worse.

Elena and Syd come out into the living room wearing matching red tracksuits and paiper-mache hearts on their heads. Elena asks Penelope what she thinks and Penelope replies she is glad they found each other.

Elena explains she and Syd are celebrating Valentine's Day by running in a marathon for heart disease in women. Alex says it it the second killer of women only to his dimples and Lydia adds he is the number one lady killer. Penelope responds by telling Lydia to stop being weird.

Elena says what they are doing is perfect and Syd asks what else they could do, have an amazing time at Benihana and Elena laughs this off as the two head out the door.

As the rest of the family leave, Schneider walks in saying he needs advice. Penelope tells him to make it quick. Schneider tells her he lied to his girlfriend Avery, saying that he was poor. Penelope suggests he show her his apartment and Schneider says he can't because she'll know he lied to her. Schneider says it's a shame, because he just installed a hot tub and a Japanese toilet. Penelope kicks him out saying he should just take her to the airport and order Taco Bell.

Later, Penelope is relaxing on the living room sofa in her bathrobe while reading a magazine. Just as she is about to take a nap, Schneider returns bringing Avery with him. Penelope asks what they are doing there, and Schneider says they were at the Burbank airport eating chalupas. Avery tells Penelope while they were at the airport private airplane pilots would smile and wave at Schneider like they recognized him. Schneider laughs it off saying that he just has one of those faces.

Penelope explains to Avery that she is just staying home alone on Valentine's Day. Avery expresses sympathy and says she's sorry, and it tries to reassure Penelope it gets better. Penelope explains she is alone by her own choice. Avery apologizes and starts heading out, however, just then she remembers that her roommate wanted to lie down for a nap. Schneider adds that they don't really feel like fighting in the rain. Penelope goes to look out the window and realizes that it's raining outside.

Just then, Alex and Leslie enter soaking wet from the rain. Leslie tells them that the vejitas lawn bowling tournament turned into the vejitas wet t-shirt contest. Penelope questions where Lydia is. Lydia walks in soaking wet and looking disheveled. She tells them a horrible truth has been revealed and asks Alex to get her hair straighter and a Bible. Alex asks why they can't go back out there and she asks if he's crazy, saying that going out with wet hair is almost as deadly as walking barefoot in your own home.

Penelope tells Lydia a little rain never hurt anyone. Elena and Syd arrive wet with their paiper-mache hearts ruined with paint on their shirts. Penelope sees them and is startled, saying that they both look like Carrie. Syd tells Penelope they don't have telekinetic powers, no matter how much they wish for them. Elena tells Penelope that the rain ruined the fun run and all of the other participants were hypocrites who bailed, so she and Syd completed the rest of the marathon on their own, just to prove a point. Alex sarcastically says she sure showed them

Lydia tells Elena she looks ridiculous and Elena retorts that Lydia looks like a Chia pet. Elena then tells Alex his hair is flat and both Alex and Lydia run to their rooms screaming. Syd tells Elena they ran past Bennihana during where people were having a fun time. Elena replies by saying she is glad they are beyond all that. Syd makes a frustrated face in response.

Lydia emerges from her room having changed and dried off. She suggests that they throw a party and asks Leslie to get the box of Valentines Day decorations. Penelope rejects the idea, saying that they live in L.A. and rain only lasts five minutes and it'll clear up. Thunder strikes outside and Penelope gives in, saying they can have a fun party.

Later, everyone is seen setting up for the party. Leslie accidentally takes down a broken heart decoration from the wall and says it's the story of his life. Lydia tells him not to be depressing and Leslie apologizes, saying that's his default. Elena and Syd are seeing looking at a pile of fashion magazines. Elena questions who reads that crap, making fun of one of the quizzes in the magazine.

Syd sits down looking at one of the magazines. Avery looks at the magazine over their shoulder and says that it looks fun. She then reads the first question and asks Schneider about his favorite childhood memory. An uncomfortable Schneider changes the subject, and asks her if she's seen the movie Forrest Gump as he leads her away.

Penelope arrives into the living room from her room having changed into a nicer outfit. Alex compliments her and she thanks him, while telling him he's still grounded. She does admit it's nice to have a reason to dress up. Penelope tells Alex if he wants to find an excuse to get out of the apartment he should help her find the champagne flutes as she opens the door. She excitedly says they are having a party as she opens the door to see Mateo standing at the door.

Mateo asks if they are having a party. Lydia comes out with food and sings that they are having a party. Penelope proceeds to deny they are having a party. Mateo says okay to this and says he was just going to leave the bouquet of roses he brought for Penelope at the doorstep. She tells him not to be mad and that she was supposed to have a relaxing day alone, however, everyone came back because of the rain and her plans were ruined. Penelope finally admits they are having a party because they are Cuban.

Mateo says he gets it because he's a Colombian. Lydia peeps out of the kitchen and asks if she hears a Colombian. Penelope invites Mateo to stay and he tells her his socks are wet. She tells him he can take them off to which he replies that is how his Tío Paco died that way. Penelope yells out to Lydia that she is going to love him. Alex walks up to Mateo and asks what it's like outside and Mateo shows sympathy for him being grounded.

Mateo then heads towards the kitchen and Penelope suggests he invite his son Sam over. Mateo tells Penelope he would, but Sam is at his mother's house. Schneider is seen narrating a version off his childhood which he ripped of the movie Forrest Gump. Elena asks Syd if they want to find some other social activism to do together. Syd tells her they would rather stay at the party and listen to Schneider's story.

In the kitchen, while Alex is chopping vegetables , Lydia tells Leslie to stop his sad breathing. Leslie apologizes and says that Valentines Day gets in his head. He elaborates that his wife left him on Valentines Day and the divorce papers arrive on April Fools. Lydia expresses sympathy for this. Leslie walks over to Alex who says he thought his life was sad until just then and thanks him.

Lydia tells Leslie that he can not go through life like there is a cloud over his head. Just then, the roof leaks and water falls on Leslie's head. Alex yells out to Penelope that the roof is leaking. Penelope tells Schneider to fix it and Schneider takes his time to get up from his chair. Schneider tells them he is on it and is going to get his tool belt. Avery questions if it's in his apartment and Schneider tells her it's next to the trash can fire he uses to keep warm. Schneider subsequently leaves.

Syd suggests to Elena that they finish the magazine quiz. Elena tells her that she would rather not. Syd retorts that all they ever do is what Elena wants. When Elena questions this, Syd tell Elena that she takes their suggestions as a joke and does not seriously consider them as being valid as well. Syd then tells Elena they really wanted to go to Bennihana. Elena then realizes Syd really wanted to go to Bennihana and questions why they were not straightforward with her.

Syd tells Elena that they want to leave but they can't, as their dad is not picking them up for another two hours. Syd sits back down and continues to read their magazine while Elena storms off in frustration.

Schneider returns and announces that the Alverezes don't live on the top floor, therefore, it can't be rainwater. Everyone backs up and groans. Penelope questions here the water is coming from. Avery then goes up and smells the water, she says it smells like bergamont and hibiscus. An annoyed Penelope tells Schneider that his hot tub is leaking. Avery questions this and Schneider finally admits to her is is rich and owns the building. He explains that he did not want her to think less of him.

Avery reassures Schneider that she does not think less of him. Avery then opens her cardigan to reveal she's wearing a Dries Van Noten blouse and says she's rich too. Avery explains she has family money. Schneider tells her he knows that pain where you spend and there is always more. Schneider and Avery kiss and then leave saying that they will fix the hot tub or hire someone else to do it.

Lydia plays music and starts dancing with Alex in the kitchen. Penelope and Mateo go behind the curtain in Lydia's room. Penelope tells Mateo she's glad he came over. Mateo says he feels very much at home in Lydia's room due to the crucifixes and pictures of popes which remind him of his mother's room. Mateo gets a call from his son revealing that Mateo lied about him spending the night at his mother's house.

Penelope questions whether or not it was because of Elena, saying she can be a bit much. Mateo finally admits it's because of Alex and his use of drugs. Penelope defends Alex, saying he was just a kid who made one mistake, which leads to the two of them arguing over who is more protective of their kids. They finally agree that they are both very overprotective parents and kiss on the sofa.

After they kiss, both Mateo and Penelope say that it's nice to be with someone who gets it and they are not crazy for being overprotective. Mateo tells Penelope that he can see what a great kid Alex is. Penelope asks if Mateo has tested his paint for led. Mateo tells her that of course he has and and he also tested her paint forled. Penelope says that's hot and the two kiss again.

Elena is reading a book when Syd enters her room. Elena asks them if they are going to break up with her and Syd tells her that they just wanted to tell her that green eyeshadow makes their eyes pop. Elena replies that she could have told them that. Elena apologizes for not taking Syd's ideas seriously, and Syd in return apologizes for not being direct about what they wanted. They discuss how to avoid fighting and Syd says Elena should just take them to Benihana.

Elena gives Syd a Valentine's Day card with a non-binary code in the shape of a heart. Syd tells Elena that is the nicest thing anyone has ever given them. The two exchange their first "I love you" with each other. They kiss and sit on the bed. Syd apologizes to Elena for them being such a Valentines Day cliche. Elena says she's too happy to care. Syd says one again that she loves her non-binary heart card. Elena promises to take them to Bennihana.

Leslie and Lydia are putting food out on the table when Leslie notices that the leak has stopped. Lydia yells out a thank you to Schneider.

Elena and Syd walk back out into the living room holding hands and greet Mateo and Penelope who come out of Lydia's room also holding hands. Leslie tries to hold hands with Lydia but she rejects him to hold hands with Alex. Schneider and Avery return after fixing the leak and hold hands, admitting they would rather be at the party than go a fancy restaurant. They then admit they have a later reservation. Lydia says it's nice to have so many happy couples under one roof.

Leslie says that he feels like a ninth wheel. Alex tells him he and Lydia are not together before waling away. Lydia tells him Valentines Day was her husband Berto's time to shine and he made sure every detail was perfect. Lydia goes on to explain that if she were to date anyone else on Valentines Day it would dishonor his memory. Leslie tells her that he understands. Lydia tells him she thought it would be okay if she and her grandson spent the day together with a chaperone.

She then says she and Leslie can share a kiss and hands him a chocolate Hershey's kiss. Leslie says he will eat it even though he is highly allergic. Everybody else is seated at the table and Penelope says she is glad they are all together even though Valentines Day did not turn out as she had planned she is glad they could spend it together.

Leslie tells them the rain has stopped and things are finally starting to look up. Just then, water leaks on the dining table and everyone backs away from the table. Leslie says he is sure this is somehow his fault. Penelope tells him she thought he fixed the hot tub. Schneider exclaims that it's his Japanese toilet which causes everyone to get up from their chairs. The toilet is herd saying arigato, which means thank you in Japanese. Schneider runs out the door and Penelope yells after him to run.

Transcript 

Click here for One Valentine's Day at a Time/Transcript

Cast

Main

Guest

Trivia

  • Elena and Syd share their first 'I Love You' in this episode.
  • This episode depicts multiple couples having their first fight on Valentines Day.

Episode Guide

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