Love isn't even real. It's just something your nanny says sometimes to your dad."
—Schneider, Bobos and Mamitas
Pat Schneider, more commonly known as Schneider, is a central character on the Pop TV Original Series One Day at a Time. He owns the building the Alvarez family lives in and is also a good family friend. He is portrayed by Todd Grinnell.
Schneider is a tall man standing at roughly 6'1 (assumed) with a muscular build with a tan.
He usually wears casual clothes, often opting for a t-shirt, jeans, and boots. He also wears glasses and is rarely seen without them. Usually, Schneider is seen wearing something on his wrist, whether that be a beaded bracelet, watch, or a purple woven bracelet.
Schneider is always seen wearing two identical silver rings, wearing one on each hand. Through Season 1, the position of these rings changes slightly but, throughout Season 2 and onwards, they stay on his middle fingers.
In "The Politics Episode," an animated version of Schneider makes an appearance. He is seen with blue eyes, thick brown eyebrows, and brown poofy hair that is more exaggerated than his real counterpart's hair and a thick brown beard. He is seen wearing large brown glasses.
His attire consists of a v-necked grey shirt with a black bicycle graphic on it, dark blue denim cuffed jeans, and maroon boots.
Schnider is a loyal friend and wealthy landlord to the Alvarez family.
Schneider is generally well-meaning, kind, and a pretty good-hearted guy. While he is immature at times, shown as something of a playboy and talks about how he grew up with literally everything. Throughout multiple episodes, he frequently refers to himself as being "super woke" and "an ally."
Schneider is the Alvarez family's wealthy landlord and a good friend.
In "No Mass," it is implied that Schneider's parents weren't very attentive when he was a child. In particular, his father Lawrence Fitzgerald Schneider has a dysfunctional relationship with his son and does not seem to care about Schneider in the least unless Schneider fits his standards. He calls his son "Golden Boy" or "Goldie" because he was a bed-wetter as a child.
Schneider is Penelope's best friend, regularly giving her advice and providing her with a listening ear when she needs it. The two have a relationship similar to siblings.
He is also good friends with Lydia who teaches him to speak Spanish.
Due to his closeness to the Alvarezes, he collects memorabilia of them such as a snow globe and a puzzle. In "Penny Pinching" it is revealed he has a museum of the Alvarez family located in an abandoned apartment on the sixth floor which is called the "Alvarez Museum Norte."
He is also good friends with Doctor Berkowitz. In the episode, "Hermanos" Schneider gets emotional and tells the doctor he sees him as an adoptive father figure after Dr. Berkowitz tells him he's proud of his eight-year sobriety. The two of them get teary-eyed and hug.
In "No Mass," it is implied that his parents weren't very attentive when he was a child. In "Perfect," he confides in his girlfriend Avery that he was a rather lonely child always looking for a companion or some sort of buddy.
Schneider is a recovering addict of alcohol, drugs, and gambling. His alcoholism also may have been further influenced by his father as it appeared he expected his son to be able to "hold his liquor" in high-society.
This is evidenced in "The Man" when his father brings him a bottle of expensive Don Julio Real and says he paid for Schneider's rehab. He insists his son accepts the alcohol even with the knowledge he has been sober for many years.
In "This Is It," Schneider mentions that he does outreach at the rec center, talking to at-risk youth. He overstayed his student visa, he was considered to have illegally immigrated, to the United States from Canada. Schneider eventually became an American citizen, alongside Lydia.
In "This Is It," Schneider, the Alvarez family's landlord, comes over to fix Penelope's sink. He gives her a package of pills, that he found in her trash, and asks if everything's okay. She says, that they are antidepressants her doctor gave her, but that she isn't going to take them—and doesn't want her mom to find out about them.
Lydia greets Schneider, before calling Elena, to come to the family room. She shows Elena Penelope's quinceanera album. This leads to Penelope challenging Elena to a debate. They each pretend to be the other and talk about the reasons why they are for or against having a quince. Penelope wins, which means Elena will have a quince. This causes Elena to storm off.
In "Bobos and Mamitas," Schneider arrives at the apartment and tells Lydia that he has a salsa emergency. He asks if she can help him learn how to dance for a date. She teaches him how to dance, and asks if she's in love with this girl. He says no, that love isn't even real. She tells him how she met her husband and he says that he met this girl at a BBQ.
They continue to dance when Penelope and the kids arrive. They too join in on the dancing. After, Elena complains, about how nobody put their food in the compost bin. Penelope tells her that her day was just as bad. Elena says it's sexist the way her coworker talked over her. Penelope says that real sexism is being in the army. Elena tells her that sexism is more subtle now. Penelope says, that if she got bent out of shape every time a man said something stupid Elena wouldn't be here. Elena tells Penelope that she needs to call Scott out.
Schneider borrows sugar from Lydia.
In "Checking Boxes," Schneider enters the apartment as the Alvarezes and the rest of their friends are getting ready for movie night. He sees Brian the census guy and asks if he is being replaced. Brian then introduces himself as the census guy. Schneider says it's great to see their Latix-x community being represented. Brian then questions if Schneider is Latino. Schneider tells him no but he is a cis, white, male ally who is privileged yet "super woke." This causes both Elena and Alex to groan as they sit on the couch.
In "Boundaries," Alex and Penelope struggle with the boundaries in their relationship after Alex walks in on her masturbating. Meanwhile, Penelope struggles with Lydia's constant meddling in her dating life.
After work, Penelope goes to Schneider's apartment to talk about how crazy Lydia is being. Schneider points out Penelope's hypocrisy because she wants boundaries between her and her mom, but none between her and her son. Penelope realizes they were both doing the same thing and goes back to her apartment.
In the Alvarez apartment, Penelope decides they are back to no boundaries except she is putting locks on the doors. Lydia says she met the most perfect man at the grocery store but was told by her daughter not to interfere in her love life, so she said nothing. A knock at the door is heard and Lydia then asks “or did I?”
Penelope is angry at first, saying she knew her mom would never respect her because of boundaries. When she opens the door, she is shocked to see Max is there, saying he is back from Indonesia. Max comes in and tells Penelope she ran into her mother at the grocery store and Lydia overshared about a lot of things. They both admit they missed each other. They start kissing and Schneider walks in and is also happy to see Max is back and tries to high-five Penelope, who swats his hand away and grunts trying to indicate she wants to be left alone to continue kissing Max. However, Schnider misunderstands and thinks she is sharing his enthusiasm for Max's return.
As of "One Halloween at a Time," Schneider and Avery walk in to the Alvarez apartment wearing their costumes. Schneider is some kind of hairy animal and Avery is in a yoga outfit. Schneider then asks them to guess what the costume is. Lydia then sarcastically asks if it's a reminder to shave her legs. Schneider then exclaims that this is serious.
Avery then says they just need a hint. Schneider then gallops over and Avery lifts her leg and does a yoga pose. Lydia then guesses by telling Schneider she thinks he is a cow and that Avery has stepped in the cow caca. Frustrated, Schneider says they were doing goat yoga and they aren't going to win the Halloween couples' contest.
Avery explains Schneider's got a lot riding on winning the Halloween costume contest at the Echo Park country club. Confused, Elena asks if they have a country club in Echo Park. Avery then explains it's the Beverly Hills Country Club and they just call it Echo Park on Halloween to make it sound scary. Schneider then says he's never won. But this year he can't lose because he has Avery in his life, and he's finally in a loving relationship as he kisses Avery. Schneider then says couples' costumes always win and the prize is an iPad mini and he never wins anything.
Sounding agitated, Elena says Schneider is a cisgender, rich, and white male and therefore he has won at life. Schneider then protests he really wants the iPad mini prize.
Later, Avery enters, wearing a drag racer costume. She then announces the house of Schneider. Schneider then enters in a drag queen costume. Avery and Schneider do a dance move. Schneider then asks once again if they get it. Max then guesses they are a drag race.
Schneider thanks him and says it's more of a history lesson in heels. He then states the full title is "Drag Race—A Drag Queen Started Stonewall." Penelope finally getting it says it's cute. Avery then tells her not to say that. Schneider then asks if she thinks he tucked and taped for cute. Penelope then points out he's in a dress. She then says he tucked and taped for nothing.
Schneider then says cute's for losers. He explains that the previous year, he went as the "Hang in There" cat. Schneider then says he got nothing out of it. He almost gave up for good but then he looked in the mirror and something inspired him to keep going. Schneider declares it's back to the drawing board and leaves. Avery explains he actually draws stick figures on a board, she then says it's very sad. Avery then says she can fix him as she leaves.
Schneider and Avery enter with fog coming from the hallway, Avery is dressed as Daenerys Targaryen and Schneider as a dragon from Game of Thrones. Everyone is impressed and they all clap. Schneider says not to compliment them seeing that they came in second. He then exclaims they lost to Elton John. Doctor Berkowitz questions who was dressed as Elton John. Scheider then explains the real Elton John was dressed as Garfield eating lasagna and they lost to him. Schneider then says that it was adorable.
Avery sees Penelope holding the pregnancy test and asks where she found it. Penelope then asks if it's hers. Avery nods. Penelope, Elena, Syd, Alex, Lydia, and Dr. Berkowitz give her a group hug and Elena and Lydia congratulate her. Schneider not understanding asks why they are congratulating her, seeing that they lost the costume contest.
Avery laughs while crying. Schneider tells her not to cry and hang in there. Avery walks over to him, teary-eyed. Avery then tells him she wasn't sure how he'd react so she threw the test in the trash. He asks what she's saying and she tells him she's pregnant. Schneider hugs her and smiles. She asks if it means he's happy. He tells her that he is. He asks her if she's happy and Avery says she is. They kiss. Schneider then says this is so much better than an iPad mini. Lydia says they are here if Schneider and Avery need them and she adds they will. Alex says he is going to be a tío, Elena says she will be a tía, and Syd says they will be a tí-x.
The episode ends with Penelope saying this calls for a celebration. Then to Alex, she says "Hey grandpa! Will you take us all out for ice cream? Let's keep the hair. It's silver but the jokes are golden."
In "Boundaries," in Schneider and Avery's apartment, they hear a knock at the door. Schneider answers the door and it winds up being Dr. Berkowitz. He then gives them an early baby gift of a creepy-looking clown dummy, saying he knew they were coming in for their ultrasound but he couldn't wait to give it to them.
The doctor then tells them to meet Ruckus the clown. He explains to them that Ruckus has been in his family for years and he wanted to pass him on to them. Avery then comments she bets he wanted to pass the clown on to them. Dr. Berkowitz goes on to explain Ruckus was his confidant and caretaker and the best spoon you ever spooned.
Schneider hesitantly says they couldn't take something so obviously meant for Dr. Berkowitz. Avery then exclaims that Dr. Berkowitz should take Ruckus out of there. The doctor then insists he has thought about it long and hard about it and his first childhood memory was of Rukus's cold, pale face.
In an attempt to hide what she's really thinking Avery starts to say she doesn't want that for her child but then catches herself and instead says that she doesn't know what to say. Dr. Berkowitz enthusiastically says he's glad the couple love Rukus as much as he does. He then says they remind him of him and his ex-wife Sophie.
He then goes on to say he and Sophie were filled with so much hope and joy. Dr. Berkowitz then says then the baby's born and hope and joy are replaced with fear and regret. He then says they started turning on each other. He then says lawyers got involved and started "circling like hyenas around the rotting corpse of the relationship." Schneider and Avery give him a blank stare, and Dr. Berkowtz looks at his watch and says it's time for him to go.
In Schneider and Avery's apartment, they are sitting on the couch reading pregnancy and parenting books with Ruckus the clown between them. Schneider says he was just thinking about what Dr. Berkowitz said about his marriage falling apart after kids. Avery then admits that freaked her out too. Avery then goes on to say that's not them and they are in love and they've never had a fight. Schneider admits she's right. They try to kiss but instead wind up kissing Ruckus.
Schneider then suggests they get Ruckus out of there. Avery suggests they throw him in the trash but to make sure no one sees, as she doesn't want to hurt the doctor's feelings. Schneider says he was going to take it to the baby's room. Avery questions this in disbelief. Schneider then says he thinks the clown is awesome and can't believe the doctor wanted to part with him and says he feels safer with it.
Avery then tells him he is not putting it near the baby's crib. Schneider then says he needs to be in the crib as the doctor said he was a spooner. Schneider then declares the doll to be his new best friend and hit's his head against the wall as he takes him to the baby's room. He then asks Rukus if he's OK to which Avery reminds him he isn't real.
Schneider then says they have been fighting all week after he said that. Dr. Berkowitz says that's crazy as they are perfect for each other and their baby's perfect too. Avery then asks if he can tell whether it's a boy or a girl. Dr. Berkowitz misunderstands and says, of course, he can because he's a doctor not realizing the couple wanted to know the baby's gender. He then leaves the room. Schneider then says he sort of did want to know and then says it may be fun not to know. Avery agrees.
Schneider apologizes for getting worked up about Ruckus. He goes on to explain he was such a lonely kid and would have loved to have anybody. Avery then says she is Schneider's buddy and their baby doesn't need a creepy stuffed companion because they'll have their parents.
They kiss again and rub noses. Avery then exclaims they got through their first fight. Schneider then thanks Ruckus for helping them. Avery then asks what the best way to thank him might be.
Dr. Berkowitz enters the break room and glances at Penelope's desk where Ruckus is sitting. Thinking the doll is Penelope he asks if she changed her hair. He realizes it's actually Ruckus. He reads a note: "I'm sick. Homesick." He hugs Rukus and admits he missed him.
In "Supermoon," on the roof, Schneider is stapling a poster that reads "Together Forever." Avery comments on how beautifully the roof is decorated. Schneider says he really outdid himself. Avery then says if she wasn't already pregnant she would tell Schneider they should make a baby. Schneider combines their names and says he can't wait to see their little "Schnavery." Avery tells him she hates that term for their child but she loves him.
Schneider then tells Avery he loves her too and he's never been happier in his life. Avery agrees with this. Schneider says that's crazy because he literally has one of everything. Avery tells him she has three of everything and however said rich people can't be happy hasn't met them.
Schneider then tells her how ten years ago he was scared to let anyone else in and if someone had told him he'd be sober with the love of his life he would not believe them. Avery reassures him she is there for him and will stay forever.
Schneider says he has one thing left to do which is clean up after himself. Schneider grabs his tool bag and Avery gets the tape measure. Before they head back downstairs Avery tells him he did a great job on the roof and they are going to love it.
Later on the roof, Penelope, Max, Alex, and Elena are trying to figure out who the decorations are for. They hear Doctor Berkowitz and Lydia come out on the roof.
Schneider says he heard voices and asks if they are starting. Lydia then says she was about to call them to come up on the roof. She then tells Schneider, the roof is perfect and thanks him for helping the doctor decorate. Schneider then says "there is nothing we Alvarezes won't do for each other."
Penelope then questions what is going on as she thought Lydia and Dr. Berkowitz scattered her father's ashes in Cuba. Lydia explains that was the plan. But after they got there, she couldn't do it. It was not the same Cuba that she remembers from her youth. Everything was still there, but it wasn't home anymore. Taking the hands of Elena and Penelope, she goes on to explain Berto wanted his final resting place to be at home and she realized that wherever they are is home.
Penelope then tells her that's beautiful. Lydia then explains that it was Dr. Berkowitz's idea to spread Berto's ashes in the rooftop garden. He then explains ever since he met Lydia, she always spoke so lovingly of Berto's perfect zucchini. At first, it made him uncomfortable. And then he realized she was talking about Berto's garden and thought this is the place he should be.
Penelope says Berto loved coming up here. He stayed for hours, planting flowers, growing vegetables. Even at night, she'd find him working up here and she knows in her heart that this is where her father would want her to be.
Lydia hands Alex the urn. He tells his grandfather he is always told by Lydia that he reminds her of Berto. Alex says he gets it and knows Berto was a good looking man. He then says he will try really hard to live up to who he was. He scoops some ashes and drops them into the garden.
Elena takes the urn, looks up at the sky, and solemnly says she wishes her grandfather could see her now. She goes on to say she knows he was old-fashioned. But she knows he loved her and would have accepted her and it makes her miss him even more. She scoops some ashes and drops them into the garden and tells Berto she loves him.
The urn is passed to Penelope. Penelope, with tears in her eyes, says she misses her father everyday but she sees him in Alex's smile and Elena's spirit, and therefore he is always with them and takes her turn scooping some ashes in the garden.
Lydia takes the urn and sits at the edge of the garden and says there is nothing she wouldn't do for Berto as she takes her turn scooping ashes in the garden. She tells Berto he can rest now, he is home, and she'll see him tonight.
The episode ends with Elena, Alex, Penelope, and Lydia embracing each other. Schneider approaches and starts to say his own words for Berto but Penelope tells him they are done, as she puts her hand on his shoulder.
The episode begins with Penelope, Schneider, Alex, and Elena in the living room. Lydia comes in from behind the curtain with her phone and says Chago's daughter Margarita is getting baptized, and they're all invited. Everyone else gets excited over the news. Penelope then says the baby's real name is Alice but her nickname is Margarita because that's how she got made.
Schneider then questions if he can be the baby's godfather and Penelope tells him he can't because he is not Cuban, Catholic, or family. Lydia then says she needs to spritz the apartment with holy water because her sister Mirtha is coming with Estrellita and the rest of the family from Miami. She then goes on to say Mirtha is La Diabla and the room darkens and thunder flashes behind her.
Lydia then proceeds to spritz Febreeze, which startles both Penelope and Schneider. She then explains the Febreeze is only temporary until she can get actual holy water. Elena then questions this, saying she thought they settled the mantilla feud and are all good now. Alex then says no, that Mirtha made a comment about Lydia's croquettes being dry and now it's back on.
Lydia then says the only thing that will be dry is every eye at Mirtha's funeral. Penelope then says their old lady feud won't be the problem this time. Alex then questions what the problem will be this time.
Elena remarks that she always forgets the Reyes family is conservative because they are Cuban like the Alvarezes. Penelope then says they should be fine, as long as they stay away from the topic of politics. She then goes on to say it's a baptism and after the service, they can gossip about how Chago and Valentina got married seven months ago and Margarita is a miracle baby.
Lydia then questions what they will do after, as the Reyeses are staying with them. Penelope starts to protest this, saying she knows they are family but simultaneously everyone says they can't send family to hotels like cold Americans. Lydia then says it's good that they get it.
Penelope then says they have to make an exception this time because the best way to keep the family together, is to keep them apart. Lydia then says the family will stay with her in her bedroom.
The Alvarezes imagine their guests sharing Lydia's bed with her and Mirtha sleeping on the floor. In the fantasy, Lydia tells Mirtha she hopes the floor isn't as hard as her breaded steak. Mirtha then retorts that if she wanted to hear from a screeching old bag she'd play with the zipper of her sleeping bag. Lydia then says the only thing she wishes had a zipper was Mirtha's mouth.
Lydia then says the Reyeses have to stay because they are family.
Schneider says he loves how the Alvareses talk about everything. Elena then asks why he's telling them what they already know. Schneider then says they should use his dysfunctional family as a guide and just not talk to each other.
Lydia says that's impossible and Penelope elaborates, saying that Lydia Facetimes her while she's using the restroom. Lydia then clarifies that is only when she's cooking otherwise, she would just walk in.
Penelope then says this is a disaster and Schneider suggests keeping it light and sticking to non-controversial topics. Penelope imagines herself and Estrellita talking about L.A. weather and Estrellita implying global warming isn't real. Alex suggests that she try talking about sports. Penelope then imagines Estrellita saying that the football guy was disrespecting the troops by kneeling down peacefully. Schneider then suggests they talk about the movies. Penelope then says Estrellita will mention how if a person is born with a penis they should use the men's room.
Alex then questions why that would come up and Penelope snaps that the subject always does come up.
Elena then says that the Reyeses should stay with them. Penelope then says Elena of all people should be against the idea because she disagrees with the Reyes family staying with them because she disagrees with them on everything. Elena then admits that's true, and when she came out to Juan he simply told her she hadn't met the right boy yet. In the flashback, Alex then tells Juan it's because they don't make them like him anymore. Juan then gives Alex another twenty dollars.
Elena then says they live in Florida, which is a swing state so the Alvareses shouldn't let them leave until December. There is then a thunderclap behind her. Penelope then says she is putting her foot down, saying the Reyeses can't stay with them, as politics and family don't mix. Lydia then gets a notification on her phone saying that the Reyes family has landed.
She lets the family know, and Penelope says the baptism is next week and wonders why the Reyeses have decided to come early. Lydia then says they are taking a mini-vacation to do all the things they can't do in Florida and lists them. Penelope tells her she is literally just describing Florida and it will just be a week of fighting and yelling.
Alex asks how that would be different than any other week and Schneider asks if he can fix everything. Schneider then goes on to say he loves how the Alvareses talk about everything. Elena then asks why he's telling them what they already know. Schneider then says they should use his dysfunctional family as a guide and just not talk to each other.
Lydia says that's impossible and Penelope elaborates, saying that Lydia Facetimes her while she's using the restroom. Lydia then clarifies that is only when she's cooking otherwise, she would just walk in.
Schneider then says they have got to retrain themselves and gives the example of how he and his father went for weeks without speaking to each other. Schneider then says his father left a Post-it note on his door that said "I'm not sure you're mine." He then says he saved it and looks at it whenever he thinks his father might love him. Alex then questions, if everybody should do that and Schneider, says yes, because then you won’t fight. He then says you keep the feelings inside, where the only person they can harm is yourself.
Penelope imagines the whole family sitting at the table. Everyone is eating and being quiet, trying not to say anything while a whistle that sounds like a teapot is heard. Elena’s glasses break. Everyone’s head explodes except for Juanito’s. Alex comes in and says those explosions are why they need a strong military. Juanito then gives him money.
Penelope tells him keeping things inside doesn't work for Cubans, they have to say everything and then keep saying it progressively louder until they are asked to leave the restaurant. Schneider then says it needs to be pushed deeper down until you die of an ulcer instead of an explosion. Penelope then tells Schneider to go back to his apartment because this is a family issue that does not include him.
A whistling noise is then heard and Schneider says keeping things down totally works. His glasses break and he holds his stomach saying that he hates his father. As he leaves the apartment, an explosion is heard in the hall.
Later, Penelope imagines disintegrating the Reyes family with a laser when they knock on the door. Elena then tells her she can't do that and Lydia says fire will only make Mirtha stronger. Schneider then enters the apartment and suggests he have the apartment airlifted and they can all start a new life in Vancouver. He says they will be considered cool, as they will be the only Latinos there.
Penelope imagines herself and Estrellita giving their perspectives on the president.
Back in reality, Elena tells Penelope she is ready and Alex gives her money. Penelope says she wishes they didn't have to talk about this, but now she knows she can. The Alvarezes hear a knock at the door. Lydia asks if they were expecting someone and says she had a little rum holding up the bottle. Penelope then says she knows the Reyeses are nuts but they are family and the Alverezes love the anyway, despite their different beliefs.
The Reyeses are seen standing in the hall having a similar conversation, saying they know the Alverezes are crazy liberals but they love them anyway.
The episode ends with Penelope opening the door and everyone greeting each other and the Alvarezes, Schneider, and the Reyeses embracing in a group hug.
Schneider's father Lawrence Fitzgerald Schneider has a dysfunctional relationship with his son and does not seem to care about Schneider in the least unless Schneider fits his standards and rarely ever gave him any praise or even refer to Schneider as his son until he felt he'd earned it. He calls his son "Golden Boy" or "Goldie" because he was a bed-wetter as a child. Schneider's alcoholism also may have been further influenced by his father as it appeared he expected his son to be able to "hold his liquor" in high-society.
For more information see Penelope and Schneider.
Penelope is Schneider's best friend and the two almost have a relationship like siblings, with Schneider referring to Penelope as his "emotional older sister." They give each other honest advice and are not afraid to call each other out when they are in the wrong.
For more information see Schneider and Avery.
Avery is Schneider's girlfriend and the mother of his unborn child.
- His first name is Pat, as said in "Drinking and Driving" when he goes to rehab and states that as his name in place of Schneider.
- He went clean from alcohol on July 4, 2011, and received his eight-year sobriety token in Season 3, however, he relapses and has to start over.
- He was born in Canada.
- He gave up his Canadian citizenship, in order to become an American citizen.
- He has a Canadian accent, it has taken him some time to perfect an American accent, to hide it.
- He struggled with alcoholism and drug addiction eight years prior, causing his father to send him to rehab (multiple times) and buy him a building.
- In "Penny Pinching," it is revealed he has his own "Alvarez Museum" in an old apartment building of memorabilia he's secretly collected over the years.
- Apparently it's on the sixth floor of the building and called the "Alvarez Museum Norte."
- He is shown to have a hobby of maintaining Penjing trees and putting figurines that look like members of the Alvarez family.
- He also bought a puzzle of the Alvarez family and completed it.
- He collects snow globes:
- One of the snowglobes in his collection portrays a clay model of the Alvarez family on the sofa in their living room with himself standing behind it. The snowglobe later breaks due to Schneider dropping it on the ground.
- He is a fan of Maroon 5.
- In the episode The Man, Schneider knocks on the door and says that as he is a landlord it is a courtesy, (this is unusual because he has a tendency to let himself into Penelope's apartment.) Penelope asks him if he's joined a cult again, implying he has, in some frequency joined cults before.
- He is in the highest bracket of income and doesn't have to pay taxes in the USA.
- Schneider speaks both English and Spanish, making him bilingual.
- Although he is not fluent in Spanish.
- Schneider's large apartment consists of a wax museum.
- Schneider drives a Range Rover.
- In "The Funeral," he calls Estrellita "the new Tía Bitchy" after she says she wants to take Penelope and Victor's names off the mantilla and replace them with her and her husband Juan's.
- In "One Halloween at a Time," he and Avery go through three different Halloween costume changes: Goat Yoga, Drag Race, and finally Game of Thrones.