The Funeral

The Funeral
Season	3
Episode	1
Air date	February 8, 2019
Writer	Debby Wolfe
Director	Phill Lewis
Episode guide
Previous	Not Yet
Next	Outside

"The Funeral" is the first episode of Season 3 of One Day at a Time. It aired on Netflix on February 8, 2019, along with the rest of Season 3.

Plot

At a relative's funeral, Penelope urges Lydia to end a petty feud with her sister, and Elena wonders if her cousin Pilar is gay.

Synopsis

The episode starts off with Elena and Alex sitting solemnly with Lydia on the couch. Penelope comes in with pizza, celebrating the fact that she bought one and got two free. Penelope then questions if they hate pizza now or was it the song. She asks them to please say pizza because she felt that jam really worked. The three of them don't respond. Lydia then says that Tía Ophelia is dead.

Penelope says that that is terrible and asks who she is again. Elena comes over and says that they can't remember either. Elena then asks if she's the tía who always wears yellow. Penelope says no, that's Tía Big Bird. Alex then asks if she's the one who always finds new ways to insult you. Penelope makes a face and rolls her eyes saying that's Tía Bitchy. Penelope then asks if none of them can remember who she is.

Schneider comes in and is upset over Ophelia's death and calls it a tragedy. He says that they danced all night at Elena's quinces. Schneider then says Ophelia had scarlet fever as a child and lost her right eye. Coming to a realization, Elena says she was the tía with the eye patch. Alex then calls her Tía Jack Sparrow. Penelope then says she called her Tía Blackbeard but then that got confusing because there is another Tía who had an actual black beard. All of them laugh at this except Lydia who bangs on the table they then apologize crossing their chests.

Penelope says that at least they will get to see the family at the funeral and names of some of them. Lydia says that it will be good to see everybody, except La Diabla, who is her younger sister, Mirtha. Schneider then asks about Tía La Diabla and Elena explains she is Lydia's little sister, Mirtha. Penelope points out that Lydia has been mad at Mirtha for twenty years over a stupid mantilla. Alex starts to point out that Lydia has it, but she interrupts him calling Mirtha a liar. Alex then starts to ask if Lydia had the mantilla the entire time but she cuts him off saying she rightfully accused Mirtha of having it all these years because she does.

She then tells Alex to go fix his hair and then messes it up. He runs off screaming. Schneider asks what a mantilla is, and Elena explains that it is a lace veil that is passed on from bride to bride in the family and the couples' names are stitched into it. Lydia then says it's a Spanish tradition and that's why they will never speak to Mirtha or her family ever again. Lydia then asks Penelope if she's right and Penelope tells her no and that this feud between the two sisters ends now.

Penelope then tells her the reception after the funeral will take place in their home. Lydia then questions La Diabla being at her house and says she will never make it past the cross. Penelope says the only things they are burying is the feud and Tía Amelia. The rest of the family correct her to say her name is Ophelia. An agitated Penelope then says "whoever."

Lydia then asks how Penelope can not take her side, saying family is everything, and she has to hate her sister. Penelope then says she is sick of this old lady beef and that cost her the relationship she had with her best friend, Estrellita. Schneider then says that Estrellita is Mirtha's daughter and Penelope's cousin. Penelope then threatens to tell the whole family that Lydia had a stroke if she doesn't end the feud with Mirtha.

The family is entering the funeral. Lydia and Alex are hug Tía Bitchy and another woman, while Penelope and Elena are greeted by Tía Bitchy. Tía Bitchy asks if Elena still has the one eyebrow and says Penelope must be enjoying her mother's tostones, taking a jab at her weight. They walk away and Elena asks if that was Tía Bitchy. Penelope says yes, and Alex comes rushing over with a red kiss mark on his cheek. He says that he needs to hide from all the Tías, and Lydia comes over. Elena points out Tía Pilar who is with Susan, and that she's always wondered if she's gay. Lydia says that Elena thinks everyone is gay and that Pilar is just eccentric and gives examples of this, saying she lives with her roommate Susan.

Pilar and Susan are seen being affectionate and Elena and Penelope give Lydia a look and Lydia walks off.

Elena then questions Penelope about Pilar. Penelope explains to Elena that Pilar is definitely gay but nobody talks about it they usually just make a gesture throwing their hands back implying it. Elena then tells her that is so offensive and someone needs to in the family needs to accept Pilar and shepherd her out into the light. Alex walks up to them and asks "like a lesbian Jesus?"

Elena then says she loves that because she has long hair, and is a really good carpenter, and she looks good in Birkenstocks. Penelope then shakes her head telling Elena nobody looks good in Birkenstocks. Penelope then says it would be rude to ask and advises Elena not to and Elena reluctantly agrees to this.

She then sits down and is approached by Schneider who tells her he can get her the intel on Pilar. He tells her he can be her double-o six and the point is he is fluent Spanish but nobody expects it from him. Elena then tells him he's not fluent.

Lydia's sister Mirtha walks into the room wearing a veil on her head. Both Penelope and Lydia see her walk in. Lydia says that La Diabla herself has arrived with her lizard eyes, vulture claws, and grey roots. Mirtha removes her veil and dramatically and says she's here. She walks up to Ophelia's open casket and says she can finally rest in peace. Lydia then says she could take on Mirtha.

sharing a moment

Penelope then reminds Lydia she said she was going to apologize. Lydia then walks up to Mirtha and gives her a hug. Penelope then goes up to her cousin Estrellita and tries to talk to her and catch her up on her life. Estrellita reminds her they are not allowed to talk due to the feud between their mothers and it's not safe. Penelope then explains she talked Lydia into smoothing things out with Mirtha and they will be able to hang out like old times.

Just then, Mirtha comes by and walks past this saying if Lydia gets close to the coffin, she will push her in. Estrellita then says "really?" Penelope then says no and says she doesn't know what just happened but the feud will end that day. She takes Estrellita's hand and says they will be together again. Penelope then starts to walk away and Estrellita pulls her back, telling her not to make promises she can't keep. She then tells Penelope she loves her curls and always has and will. The two then embrace by holding hands and putting their heads together.

Elena and Pilar

Penelope then tries once again to confront Lydia about Mirtha. Lydia tells her this will all be over soon which Penelope doesn't like the sound of.

Elena then approaches Pilar and gives her a hug. Pilar then asks Elena how she's doing to which Elena tells her that she's gay and came out at her quinces. Pilar then responds that she knows and she was there and she jump-started Penelope's car from her truck.

Pilar then asks Elena how school is going. Elena then tells her as a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) there and no one should ever be ashamed of who they are, which is gay. Elena then questions how Pilar is, and Pilar responds that her aunt just died. Elena looks at the casket and says "Oh, right." An annoyed Pilar then walks off saying "Oh, look anyone else."

Lydia is about to sneak the mantilla into the casket when she is approached by Pilar. In order, not to get caught Lydia puts the cloth back in her purse and starts fake crying and is comforted by Pilar. Pilar then compliments Ophelia on her rhinestone eye patch calling it a nice touch before knocking on the coffin and walking away.

Lydia then calls Alex and says there are too many people around, she has him create a diversion by showing the Tías his homecoming pictures on his cell phone. He says went to homecoming with a Cuban girl he might marry. All the Tías then run towards him so they can look at his phone.

Penelope then sees Lydia stuffing the mantilla in Ophelia's casket. Penelope then questions if she had the mantilla the whole time. Lydia then points to Ophelia and says no she had it. Mirtha then walks up to Ophelia's casket and says Ophelia was the only one who understood her. Mirtha then picks up the mantilla and calls Ophelia a thief. Lydia pretends to look shocked and asks if Ophelia had the mantilla the whole time.

Penelope gives Lydia a look and says that it makes sense. Lydia then claims Ophelia had her eyes on it for a long time, until 1952 then she had her eye on it. Mirtha then says all these years she blamed Lydia. The two sisters then grudgingly make up both saying they'll never actually say they are sorry out loud. They then hug.

Penelope goes up to Estrellita and says they are back. They then hug and laugh and Estrellita says there is so much to talk about. Estrellita catches Penelope up on her life and the two hug.

Lydia takes the mantilla from the casket and Mirtha asks what she is doing. Lydia then tells her they don't want the mantilla going down in the dirt with Ophelia. Mirtha then says she's right as their great grandmother got married and executed in it. Lydia then says that was quite a quinces that Mirtha also agrees to.

At the reception, after the funeral, Schneider tries to overhear a conversation between Pilar and Susan. He tells Elena that it sounded like Pilar was moving to Tampa and Elena believes it's because the family doesn't accept her. Elena then says they have to do something to prevent Pilar from moving because she's the only other gay person in the family. Elena's cousin Flavio comes up to her and asks to borrow chapstick from her and she tells him not now.

Penelope and Estrellita are seen dancing in the kitchen. The two do their improvised choreography for Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation video. Estrellita then questions if it's weird that they are dancing at a funeral. Penelope replies it's a Latino funeral, it would be weird if they weren't dancing. Estrellita then says they didn't always nail it but they sold it with a confident face. Penelope adds it's also the face they used to sneak into R-rated movies.

Estrellita then asks her if she remembers what they do after this. Penelope then says they steal wine coolers from their parents and kiss magazine pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio. The two then high-five and Penelope pours some wine. Penelope then says she forgot how much fun they had together and Estrellita tells her those were the best years of her life.

Penelope then tells Estrellita she saved all the letters she wrote her while she was in the army because they mean a lot. Penelope tells her there were a lot of really rough nights when she was in the army and she would read one of the letters and it felt like Estrellita was right next to her making her laugh and she felt a little less alone and telling her everything was going to be OK.

Estrellita then says with tears in her eyes she can't believe she has her best friend back as they share a hug.

Later, Lydia says she wants to kill Mirtha for telling a story about her cancer. Penelope tells her cancer is scary. Lydia tells her Mirtha only had a mole the size of a tic-tac and the whole story is exaggerated. Penelope says Lydia can tell people about her stroke. Lydia's pride, however, will not allow her to let the family know about her stroke. Lydia then says she is surprised Mirtha is not singing.

Mirtha then starts singing a song dedicated to Ophelia and Lydia buries her face in her hands. Lydia then says she sings like a donkey and goes to approach Mirtha. Mirtha then invites Lydia to sing with her. Lydia tells her she doesn't think she can sing as beautifully as she can. The two then start singing together.

In the kitchen, Pilar is drinking tea and Elena approaches her. Pilar then says that Elena doesn't really pick up on social cues, hinting that she wants to be left alone. Elena then questions her about her relationship with Susan and asks if they are having a "friendship ceremony" soon. Pilar then questions what Elena is getting at.

Elena finally says she wants Pilar to feel accepted in the family and asks if she's been hiding something from the family and feels like she can't live life as who she really is. Pilar then says she has been hiding the fact that she converted to Judaism for her wife Susan. Elena then excitedly says Pilar has lesbian jokes and she's sorry Pilar has had to keep being gay a secret from the family.

Pilar then clarifies that it's not a secret and the family knows but the knowledge does not stick with them. She then says her mom says she was afraid of men because she was attacked by a man in college. Pilar then tells her it wasn't a man, it was a squirrel and it was female. Elena then says Pilar should come out to the entire family and Pilar explains that the family are not going to change and she doesn't care because she knows they love her.

Pilar then tells Elena she knows how being gay goes in the stages of first realizing you are gay, and then being excited about it, and then eventually realizing your just a person. Pilar then gives Elen some good advice: that it's really empowering not to be defined by who you makeout with. Elena then says she might be a lesbian Jesus but Pilar is a lesbian god. Pilar then says she might have been called that before and the two laugh and bond over it.

Elena then tells Pilar she doesn't want to lose touch with her when she moves to Tampa. Pilar then clarifies she's not moving to Tampa, she and Susan are just going to Busch Gardens for vacation. Elena then says "yeah you are" and tries to high-five Pilar who just rolls her eyes and puts Elena's arm down.

Sisters Lydia and Mirtha sing a song for Ophelia

Lydia and Mirtha hold hands and finish their song and everyone applauds. Penelope then tells Estrellita she is glad the stupid mantilla crap is behind them, Estrellita agrees and asks where the mantilla is, saying she wants to get her and her husband Juan's names stitched into as they didn't have it at their wedding. Penelope takes it out of Lydia's purse and asks if she will give it back after.

Estrellita then asks if she's getting remarried. Penelope says she might but she wants to save it for her kids as they are the next oldest in the family, so it makes sense. Estrellita asks "does it?" Penelope then questions what she means. Esterellta elaborates saying that doesn't make sense because Elena is gay and Penelope retorts saying her son Flavio is super gay, a comment that clearly does not sit well with Estrellita. Flavio then makes a comment on the apartment walls in the apartment being yellow. This then leads to the two women fighting over the mantilla and Estrellita says Penelope and Victor's names should be removed as they are divorced.

She retorts that Penelope couldn't keep Victor tied down so neither should the mantilla. This comment causes Penelope to look away in shock. Schneider then says that was nasty and says Monica is no longer Tía Bitchy, Estrellita is. Monica then questions who calls her Tía Bitchy.

Mirtha then tells Lydia to tell Penelope to let go of the mantilla. Lydia then yells out that she had a stroke. This temporarily distracts Estrellita who lets go of the mantilla. Penelope and Lydia look at the piece of lace and realize there are no names stitched in it.

Mirtha then reveals she knew Lydia stuffed a worthless piece of cloth in with Ophelia instead of the real mantilla, saying they are Cubans, not ancient Egyptians. Estrellita then questions who has the real mantilla and Lydia says it's obviously with Mirtha. Mirtha then calls Lydia a liar in Spanish and Lydia retorts that Mirtha walks around like her hair color is natural.

Mirtha then counters she can salsa without breaking a hip and demonstrates this. Lydia admits Mirtha is light on her hooves and says she would like to demonstrate what the step would look like when one does not have feet like a chupacabra and then proceeds to demonstrate the dance move while vocalizing merengue music. Mirtha then asks her to admit she has the mantilla.

Pilar comes up and says she and Susan used it at their wedding and she has it. She then pointedly tells the family they were all at the wedding which confuses them because they had not realized the event was a wedding. Lydia even goes so far as to say she thought it was an affectionate barbeque. Penelope then says they should at be ashamed at themselves for fighting over nothing. Lydia finally admits she had a stroke and she and Mirtha makeup and apologize to each other.

Penelope then says just because they have their differences doesn't mean they will stop being family. Estrellita then proposes a toast to Ophelia and says at least she was alive to see the president make America great again. Everyone else looks uncomfortable and the episode ends with Penelope saying "I'm, sorry. What?"

Transcript 

Click here for The Funeral/Transcript

Cast

Main Cast

• Justina Machado as Penelope Alvarez
• Todd Grinnell as Schneider
• Isabella Gomez as Elena Alvarez
• Marcel Ruiz as Alex Alvarez
• Stephen Tobolowsky as Leslie Berkowitz
• Rita Moreno as Lydia Riera

Minor Characters

• Gloria Estefan as Mirtha
• Melissa Fumero as Estrellita
• Stephanie Beatriz as Pilar
• David Miranda as Flavio
• Liz Torres as Monica "Tia Bitchy"
• Vera Taylor as Mimi

Trivia

• It is revealed that Pilar, Elena, and Alex's family member, is gay and that she is married to a woman named Susan.
  • Pilar and Susan are seen together when Elena points Pilar out.  
• The feud between Lydia and Mirta was finally resolved.
• It is revealed that Pilar had the mantilla all along, as she and Susan had it for their wedding. 
• Schneider is shown to have extensive knowledge about the Alvarez family and their relationships with each other. 
• Schneider refers to himself as Tío Handsome Gringo. 
• Flavio calls Penelope Tís Divorce when commenting on the yellow walls of the apartment.  

• Estrellita taught Penelope the choreography to Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation video.

• Penelope tried a Brazilan Blowout in '07 and did not like the upkeep. 
• Estrellita toasts Ophelia and says at least she was alive to see the president make America great again.
  • The show makes a stylistic choice never to mention Donald Trump by his name.