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To Zir, With Love is the third episode of Season 2 of One Day at a Time.


Lydia gives Elena advice on approaching her crush. After running into a hunky Army buddy who's also single again, Penelope rethinks her dating rules.


Elena comes to the apartment with a bunch of friends. They are part of an advocacy group that she joined. She tells Penelope and Lydia that they are going downtown to protest a video game.

Alex comes out and says sup. Penelope tells her that she doesn't mind the protests, but to make sure she keeps up with her homework. Penelope is on her first day of training as a nurse practitioner.

She runs into one of her old friends named Max. He asks about Victor and she tells him that they are divorced. He tells her that he's divorced too. Max tells her that hey should get together after work sometime and catch up. Penelope tells him that she doesn't have time for a social life right now.

Doctor Berkowitz gives Lydia an arm extender but he breaks it when he realizes that Lydia wouldn't need him anymore if she had one. Elena comes back to the apartment with her friends. Lydia invites them to stay for dinner but Dani can't stay so Elena tells them all to go home.

Lydia tells Elena that she knows she has a crush on Dani. Elena denies it, but Lydia tells her that she can teach her how to flirt. Elena says that she's too young to date but Lydia says she isn't that young to flirt. Both Lydia and Alex show her how they flirt. Penelope arrives home and asks what's going on. Lydia tells Penelope about Elena's crush. Penelope says that she can't date. She says that they don't let anything get in the way with their education. Lydia tells Penelope that flirting can be fun and that it doesn't hurt anyone.

Penelope runs into Max again at the hospital. She's very mean to him and he asks why she's being mean to him. She says she doesn't know. They end up sleeping together. Penelope goes to talk to Schneider about it. Penelope tells him that she's freaking out because it's wrong. That she's never done anything like this before and that she has a seven date policy. Schneider says that she needs to update that policy.

She learns that Schneider is dating Finn's mom who happens to be at Schneider's too. Schneider tells her that she doesn't always have to have a relationship. Penelope says she can't have sex without love. Alex asks Elena if she's going to ask Dani out. Elena says no, that it's complicated. Elena says, that she assumed coming out was the difficult part, but it's now that she likes someone. Alex says that gay dating sounds tricky.

Elena says that what she's really afraid of is that she'll ask Dani out and that she won't be gay. Lydia tells Elena that love must be bold. Elena says that it's always been easy for them but what if nobody ever likes her. Lydia tells her the story about how telling a boy that she liked him lead to her meeting her future husband.

She never would've never met him if she hadn't put herself out there. Elena tells Lydia that she's just been staring at Dani awkwardly and smelling her hair. Lydia tells her that she could do better. Alex tells Lydia that it was very nice of her to tell Elena that story. Lydia tells him that it was all a lie and that it instead happened to her sister.

Max bumps into Penelope and asks to take her out on a real date. Penelope tells him that what happened last night wasn't her and that she normally doesn't do stuff like that. Max says that so is he. He tells her that last night was great and that he's had a crush on her for fifteen years. Penelope tells him that she likes him and what are they going to do about it. They end up having pizza together and tell each other embarrassing stories. Penelope asks if this is crazy and Max says that it's not ideal.

Penelope asks if he's really okay with just forty-five minutes a week and he says he is. Elena has Dani over at her house. Lydia asks if she needs some courage and offers her some rum. Elena says no and that she's not going to do anything until she knows for sure that Dani is gay. Lydia figures out she's gay because she wears chap-stick instead of lipstick.

Elena goes to give Dani a cookie when she gets a text that her girlfriend is outside. This crushes Elena, but another one of their friends comes up and offers to share the cookie with Elena. Elena realizes that this person likes her and they both confess that they are gay. Lydia and Alex watch as Elena flirts, commenting that she's terrible at it, but luckily she has them to help her.

Elena asks Penelope not to get mad and that she's been talking to Syd. Elena goes on to say she knows she isn't supposed to be dating but can she go get ice cream with them. Penelope says yes she can. Suddenly, Penelope hears the sound of sirens and thinks about Max. Lydia tells her that she works too hard.


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  • This episode introduces Syd along with the other Feminist Gamers of Echo Park.
  • This episode discusses and stresses the importance of pronouns in the LGBTQ community.

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